In our travels, we were discussing men. This is not a new topic :) We were talking about honesty. She was telling me how she met this new guy who was a little "rough around the edges" and maybe a little bit forward by saying whatever he thought and felt. She was a little taken aback by it at first but then began to realize something - he wasn't playing any games. He said what he wanted, was a little too honest, put everything on the table right up front.
Even though this might have been slightly alarming to her at first, she thought about all of the other men that she had dated who were so completely opposite. The other men were reserved but also quiet and secretive. They didn't tell the full truth, didn't put everything out in the open and seemed more like they were playing a game rather than really wanting to be getting into something serious.
I don't ever look at things like that so in depth because I am not one to be looking for a serious relationship at the moment. However, my friend brings up a very valid question. If a guy's actions seem a little brash and maybe even a little too forward, is that necessarily a bad thing? He is being himself, he is being open and honest and being a confident person. (This is obviously a generalization and not true for all men). A guy who is a little more reserved may be holding something back, not saying what he truly thinks and feels for fear of going against the social norms and not wanting to seem wrong. Could this guy be more inclined to hide things from you? I think that answer is Absolutely!
This shy guy is too worried about what you or other people think to tell you the truth about himself, good and bad. The guy that is open and honest doesn't give a shit about what other people are thinking and will tell you what is on his mind. Haven't our mother's always told us that "honesty is always the best policy"? At least mine has... Who cares that he might not always be the most proper guy at the dinner table. He is the most genuine and true and will not care that he might not have used the correct fork; he cares that he is the guy sitting at the table with the most fabulous girl there. She is there because he is honestly a great guy!
(I have edited this post due to the comment that was made about it. I must have had a little too much red wine last night. Warning to myself: Do not post when tipsy! To address the comment - I did not mean to make the gentleman out to be rude to others. I was talking about him being very open, honest, and blunt with a new date. I removed the part about the man's tie at the table since it was not something that happened, but an example of something that might have. Since this did not help to make the point I was trying to make, I revised it. I absolutely agree that if someone is crude or rude to another person right in front of you it should be your signal to Run for the Hills! Thank you for pointing out my error!)
(I have edited this post due to the comment that was made about it. I must have had a little too much red wine last night. Warning to myself: Do not post when tipsy! To address the comment - I did not mean to make the gentleman out to be rude to others. I was talking about him being very open, honest, and blunt with a new date. I removed the part about the man's tie at the table since it was not something that happened, but an example of something that might have. Since this did not help to make the point I was trying to make, I revised it. I absolutely agree that if someone is crude or rude to another person right in front of you it should be your signal to Run for the Hills! Thank you for pointing out my error!)
I'm all for honesty at your first encounter w/ a person but there's a difference between honest and rude. The only good thing about him being “crude” is she can determine up front that he’s an asshole instead of figuring it out after dating over time.
ReplyDeleteI’d love to know the stuff he said. It’s got to be funny! But I don’t think making fun of another man’s tie proves any confidence in him.
Love U!