Online Shopping

I was just browsing the Internet for a Vintage fur coat. I landed upon this website called Mildred's Antiques. It seemed like a cute selection of coats, jackets, hats, and even teddy bears until I came upon the strangest thing. After all of the wonderful fur selections, a pair of Lucite shoes are for sale. Size 7.5 with rhinestone trim. Very good condition. $160. Does this Mildred lady assume that anyone looking for a fur coat or teddy bear would also like to purchase Lucite shoes?? I am wondering if a fur coat is the right choice to keep me warm this winter.

Trimming The Tree

Tonight after a long day of work, my roommate and I put up our Christmas tree. Naturally, my tree is decorated with shiny pink garland and sparkly shoes with feathers on them - yep, totally me.

Setting up the tree was honestly the last thing that I wanted to do tonight. I was tired and just exhausted from actually having to work after having a few days off to relax. I am not as "Holiday Happy" as some of the other members of my family (I know someone who has at least 5 trees set up in her house) however, I do get into the spirit once in awhile. After the tree was finally up and the garland, lights, and decorations were on the fake plastic branches I got a twinkle of that holiday happiness. It lasted all of 2 minutes until I got a sparkle from one of the icicles in my eye.

So much for holiday cheer. I will try again tomorrow. Maybe it will be better when I start writing out my holiday cards, unless I get a paper cut from them. The 25 days of Nonsense (Oops, I mean Christmas) begins...

Barbie Is A Bitch

I hope that everyone had a great holiday. My holiday started with Thanksgiving Eve at the local bars in my hometown. It was not without drama and drunkenness which always makes for a fun night. Thanksgiving day was spent stuffing my face with the best food ever. I think I gained 10 lbs. in under an hour.

Black Friday follows a day of heavy eating. Thankfully we walked around the mall and shops a lot, however, I don't think that it helped me to lose any of the turkey weight from the previous day.

While in the toy section yesterday, I noticed an old friend whom I haven't seen in awhile - Barbie. I have to say that she looks really good. Her lashes are longer, her hair is blonder, and her earrings are blingier. She now has the coolest pink bathtub, vanity, and couch and hasn't aged a day. What a bitch. I bet she didn't even gain a pound from eating her perfect plastic turkey dinner.

Packing Sucks

Packing is always one of those things that I dread. I was packing to go home tomorrow and I just honestly procrastinate when I have to do it. It isn't the physical act of finding my suitcase and lugging it out. It isn't a problem to lay everything out that I would like to pack, however, when I do that it ends up being most of my things. The biggest problem with packing is deciding what I really want to wear. I usually dress in the morning based on my mood (not always because I usually wear black and I'm not sad or depressed). I like to get up, see what outfit will put a smile on my face and decide that way. I don't usually dress based on practicality. If I want to wear a tank top and it's too cold outside - I just put a cardigan over it. If I want to wear high heels but I have to walk far to the train - I wear them anyway.

When I have to pack however, I am forced to decide what to wear long before I ever have to wear it. I also have to limit the amount of shoes that I place into my suitcase; they are so heavy! I hate when you finally get to your destination, it is the first day of your trip and you open your suitcase to put on that great dress that you packed and, oh shit, you left the perfect peep toe pumps that match the dress at home because you didn't have room. You had to pack the black pumps instead and they match but they just aren't perfect. Does everyone else have this problem with packing or is it just me wanting to have a rolling rack of outfits to follow me wherever I go?

Bad Date-O-Rama

Yesterday, I went on a date with Bar Boy. I haven't seen him in such a long time and he had been bugging me to go out again. I was thinking that I could go as just friends instead of a real date. I already know that I don't like him, so the reason that it was a bad date is more my fault than his. Either way, I had a boring time.

We started out by going to the Guggenheim. The last time that I went to the museum was with him also and I had sworn to never go back because I didn't enjoy it at all. This time was a little different. They had the Kandinsky exhibit and it was beautiful. The colors that he uses are amazing. However, towards the end of the exhibit when you just kind of get sick of looking at paintings with a boring person, you begin to wish someone funny was with you. I was hoping for someone to make me laugh at the moment when I got so bored. If you ever need to know if you really like a guy or not, take him to a museum. If he is a bore after an hour, then you know what to do.

Next, we went to lunch at Pastis. This is one of my favorite restaurants and once again, I didn't really enjoy it because I was so bored and had used up everything I had to say at the exhibit. After lunch, he decides that he wants to go shopping. Normally when I hear the word shopping I want to jump for joy. Instead, I wanted to hop in a cab and run away. Thankfully we only went to one store and then I went home.

I did 3 of my very favorite things, look at art, eat, and shop, and didn't enjoy any of them. Needless to say, I will not be hanging out with Bar Boy again. For all of you girls out there going on a date with a person that you already know that you do not like, in can sometimes be more painful that going on a date with a person you end up not liking during the first date.

A Gay Man Goes To A Straight Strip Club

Last night I traveled uptown to hang out with some friends and see a movie. Before the movie, we all sat around and had pizza and wine and great conversation. My gay boyfriend was there and as usual he was telling us his hilarious stories (his are ten times more ridiculous than mine)! Since his story was so funny, I am re-telling it for all of the rest of you.

My gay boyfriend was in NYC a few years ago for Fashion Week and ended up going to a strip club with a bunch of his straight guy friends. He was just sitting and listening to the music and having drinks. One of the girls came up to him and sat on his lap, asking if he liked the song. He of course agreed and loved the song. She was talking to him about fashion week and clothes and the music and he was enjoying the conversation. After awhile she was telling him that they had a bathtub with bubbles downstairs. Since he had been drinking heavily, he thought this sounded like so much fun and couldn't understand why his straight guy friends didn't think that this was a good idea. Later, my gay boyfriend was off dancing and the stripper had come up to his friends. She said to them "Hey, your friend owes me $80." My gay boyfriend had no idea that the stripper who talked to him about fashion and clothes charged by song and that by just sitting on his lap and talking to him, she was working and charging him for it.

This is why I love my gay boyfriend so much. He loves clothing, fashion, and dancing so much that he doesn't even realize when a stripper is trying to make money off of him. Thankfully for the stripper, his friends thought the entire thing was so funny that it was worth the money. How in the world she couldn't tell that he was gay is beyond me. That also makes the story so ridiculous. She either knew and didn't care or had no idea that the guy talking about fashion and Britney Spears was gay...yeah, she probably knew what she was doing.

Bracelets And Boyfriends

Last night, I went to Ulysses downtown with a friend. When we got there the place was packed, and packed with a ton of cute guys. We sat down at the bar and had a beer. Not too long after we sat down, a guy came over and sat right next to us. He was obviously plastered and he thankfully made sure to order a glass of water with the shots that be bought for us.

He was saying that he thought I was really cute and blah, blah, blah, drunken slurs but that he knew I had a boyfriend. I asked him why he thought that I had a boyfriend because I don't have one. He said "Well you obviously have a boyfriend because you have a lot of bracelets on!" and pointed to my wrist where I was wearing 6 silver bracelets of all different sizes and shapes. I laughed at him and thought that it was the silliest reasoning. It wasn't like I was wearing one of those heart necklaces that boyfriends usually get for girlfriends. I explained to him that 3 of them were from my mother, 2 from my best friend, and one from my grandmother...obviously they are not boyfriends. I thought that it was the funniest thing for him to think I had a significant other based on my jewelry.

Elevator Amazingness

Nothing makes a hard day instantly better like seeing a hot guy in the elevator. I stepped into the elevator, looked up, and saw the cutest little puppy ever. I smiled and then his owner said "Hi, how are you?" in the way that someone says when they actually know you. When I looked up at him, I noticed that it was the super cute bartender from the Thompson Hotel that I met exactly a month ago. He was standing there holding a dachshund puppy that I instantly said was sooo cute. I told him that my mom has 3 of them and absolutely loves them. He then said that he just got the dog as a gift for his mother. OMG could he get any cuter and sweeter?

Bartender Boy, which he shall now be named, has been haunting my thoughts ever since I met him. He is so gorgeous and nice. When I met him, he was obviously bartending and ended up buying me my drinks. Now he goes and buys a dog for his mother? I mean, honestly, so sweet. I decided that I had to call my mother right away and tell her about my elevator ride. She is so excited about the dog and the guy but then she asks a very valid question..."What if he is gay?" This instantly bursts my bubble as I wonder if he plays for the other team or not. It has happened to me one too many times that I think gay men are straight and vice versa. The "What if he is gay" question brings up others. What if he actually bought the dog for his girlfriend and then that makes him a total jerk face and a scum bag? What if he just bought the dog for himself and made up the story to seem cuter? Well I have to say that the story worked if it was a story.

Since there were so many other girls in the elevator I didn't really get to talk to him myself. I would have liked to ask him to hang out sometime but didn't get the chance. As we parted ways in the hallway, he said "It was nice to see you." I responded with "It was so nice to see you too." I'm just a few sentences closer to asking him to grab a drink with me ;)

Pondering A Push-Up

Victoria's Secret has been playing a new commercial that advertises a Miraculous Push-up bra. They claim that it instantly ads 2 cup sizes. Personally, I haven't tried it on yet, but they definitely have intrigued me with these commercials. Two whole cup sizes in one bra! Do they mean one full cup size for each boob?

Is it a mean thing to wear a push up bra on a date? I guess that you always want to put your best foot, umm I mean boob, forward but is it tricking the guy? After awhile and a lot more dates he will eventually figure out that your lovely push up bra is actually helping you fake him out. He shouldn't be too mad for "lying" to him, however, he might be a little disappointed. When your super sexy C cup miraculously turns into a cute A, he might begin to wonder about you. What else are you hiding? Are you secretly crazy? Do you write about him in a secret blog? Eventually he will find it all out. It is always good to be up front about things, however, push up bras aren't really lying - just fibbing a little.

Only 3 Minutes?!

I just read an article that was run on MSN today. It is by Helen Fisher, PHD and was originally written for O, The Oprah Magazine. This article blows my mind but anything that Oprah has in her magazine has got to be true right? The article states that in up to 3 minutes of meeting a person, we have already decided if they could be a good partner for us. They base this on physical appearance, voice, and the person's words. I can understand that for sure, but 3 minutes?! That is just so fast. I guess that I don't really believe in love at first sight then.

The article states that "we are built to instantly size up a potential partner, an intuitive skill that likely developed millions of years ago as our forebears struggled to rapidly sort friends from enemies." That sentence makes me think of cave men and women looking at each other and thinking "Wow, love those loin cloths and random pieces of leaves that he is wearing" and "Yeah, her voice doesn't sound as manly as my father's. I guess I won't have to club her to death." I guess that personally I make judgements about people instantly but for me, I think it takes time to really get to know someone. I have liked a lot of people at the 3 minute mark and then really didn't like them after 10 or 15.

Another quote from the article that I found to be interesting was that "women typically regard rapid talkers as more educated and men with full, deep voices as better-looking than they are." So guys, take note, speak really fast with a low low voice and then you can sound smart and sexy at the same time! I wonder what this Helen Fisher thinks of accents ;) I know that I love them!

I Heart Football

I'm sitting at Sidebar in Union Square watching football. There is beer and hot men cheering. Is this Heaven or what?!

Blogging from the spot...

A Random Encounter

Friday night I went out on a date with Birthday Boy (I call him that because I met him at an apartment party when he was celebrating his birthday). We went to Local 269 to watch his friend's band play. It was so disgusting outside because it was raining and windy but I finally made it to the bar just in time to see them play their first song. I found Birthday Boy and his friends getting drinks in the super tiny bar. As I turned around to grab my Rum and Coke from the bartender, I bumped into someone. When I looked to apologize I recognized the person - it was Jeff Not Gay! I said a surprised hello and asked how he was doing. Jeff Not Gay stood there for almost a minute with his jaw to the floor. He finally said hi and then ran off to the other end of the bar. How awkward!

It was so strange to have run into him all the way down in the lower east side. The last time I had talked to him was on a date in the summer and I think that we both just decided not to call each other anymore. As Birthday Boy and I were listening to the band, I noticed Jeff Not Gay out of the corner of my eye talking to his friend about me. He was literally pointing and his friend was looking in my direction, not facing the band like everyone else.

Jeff Not Gay walked by Birthday Boy and I later in the night. I stopped him to say hello again and see how he had been doing. I just didn't want things to be awkward anymore. He said that he was good, he moved to the upper west side and that he still had the same job. He also said that I should call him sometime or after we left the bar "if I wasn't already tied up" as he gestured to Birthday Boy. I just said sure but didn't mean to really call him. I thought that was a little strange but decided to ignore it.

How weird was it that I bumped into him in the LES when months ago I had ran into him again all of the way uptown. Why do I keep running into him? I felt a little bad for Birthday Boy because it must have been strange for him too. However, he did a good job of just rolling with the punches and grabbing me much needed drinks! Birthday Boy was also a lot more fun than Jeff Not Gay had ever been so I know that I was hanging out with the right guy at that bar.

You're Not Dating Anyone?

Today, on the train with some new co-workers, we were chatting and getting to know each other. One woman was talking about her boyfriend and then she casually asked if another co-worker of mine was dating anyone. She said "No, no one really." Immediately upon her response, the other woman gave her a look of concern and said "No one? Awwww" with a pout face. Is it that bad to not be dating anyone? Honestly?

Thankfully she didn't ask me because I would have responded "A lot of people." I wonder what her response would have been then. I really don't think that her sad response was a very nice one. Obviously she wasn't thinking about it that way but it really isn't that sad of a thing not to be dating someone. It isn't the end of the world. It is nice to know that a person is comfortable enough with themselves to be able not to be with someone constantly. Just because a person doesn't have a boyfriend, doesn't mean that they are unhappy with that fact. They might be very happy, extremely happy, just dating everyone they can!

Group DInners

Tonight I went to a friend's birthday dinner at Dos Caminos on Park Ave. I had a lot of fun just hanging out and drinking and eating. However, why is it always tricky when the bill comes for a group dinner. Even though it was just a few splitting the bill it is always feels like an uncomfortable subject on who gives what amount.

Obviously the B-Day Girl doesn't pay which goes without saying. I am always happy to show the celebrator a great time. The problem comes when other people order above and beyond what everyone else at the table is ordering. They order the steak and you had ordered a measly salad to keep your cost down. They had the bottled water and tap was fine for you. They ordered the bottle of wine when you could have been happy with just a glass or two. That person always seems like the one to say "Ohh lets just split the bill in half, its easier that way." Since you don't want to be a cheap ass, you split the bill and move on. However, by doing that, you overpay by $20 and you go home still hungry.

What are you supposed to do in this situation? Do you speak up and say "I only had the mixed greens and one drink in comparison to your veal and 5 drinks"? Do you not say anything at all and just pay an equal part of the bill? Do you lie and say "I only have this much cash" and hope that someone else at the table notices that you don't really owe as much as everyone else? Do you just note that for next time you should order the steak and multiple glasses of wine and leave full and know that everyone else picked up part of your tab?

If I was a millionaire I wouldn't have to worry about all of this. If I was a millionaire I would be that type of rich person that just always paid for the entire tab for everyone. A girl can dream can't she :)

Screw You A$$ Face

I don't know why this happens to me, I am assuming that it happens to everyone, but I often get people who I haven't talked to in awhile texting me months later. One guy in particular just texted me last night and it has been almost an entire year since we last spoke. Let's call him Houston...that is where he is from but he doesn't have an accent, thankfully.

When I was out for a friend's birthday party at the Bowery Electric I was really fuming about the text that he sent to me. It said "Hi there." Plain and simple. I was furious. I am still pissed. Who texts after almost a year and just says "Hi there"? Houston just disappeared after the holiday season last year. I had met him about 6 months before that on a blind date. I had been so surprised how well my first blind date had gone. I had only heard of blind dates being bad things that are horrific and didn't usually work out. Houston seemed nice, we had great conversation, and he was fun. We dated casually for the next few months mostly going to extravagant dinners where he liked to order almost everything on the menu "Just to taste it." After last holiday season, I never heard from him again. I called and texted and received no answer so I stopped, with the exception of a drunk text every once in awhile in January.

Please note that December of 2008 was the last time we talked. Yesterday's date was 11/10/2009. Just shy of a year...was he catching up on old business? Trying not to play games, I decided to text back. Here is how the conversation went...

Yesterday

Houston: "Hi there"

Me: "Hey. How are you?"

- I wrote my text around 6pm and by 10pm when I got to the Bowery Electric he still hadn't written back. Again, I was pissed off.

Today

Me: "Your text was a bit random..."

Houston: "Sorry, travelling. Just landed in Houston. Things good, more of the same. Getting ready for the holidays..."

What the hell!! More of the same what? I haven't talked to him in almost a year, or did that detail slip his mind?

Me: "Well I'm glad that everything is going well. Have a nice time in TX."

What I really wanted to say: "Screw you ass face."

Walking To Work

This morning I had to run uptown to drop off my old cable equipment. Since it was nice outside, I decided to walk to work from the cable drop-off place which ended up being quite a long distance. This probably wasn't the best idea that I had all day. First of all, I was in high heels. Secondly, everyone else seemed to be in slow motion.

I was trying to dodge the slow pokes by weaving in and out of the crowds when I was getting overheated. I pulled over to get an iced coffee. After I payed $2.25 for the iced coffee that was advertised as $1.50 I continued my walking and dodging. At first I had liked the idea of a relaxing walk to work, however, I forgot about the wheelie suitcases, the smokers, and the protesters on 5th avenue. I was also trying to dodge the smell of burning breakfast coming out of the tiny restaurants. I always feel like that smell of burned bacon sticks in your hair no matter how far away from it you are.

As I continued on to my destination it seemed like the closer to midtown that I got, the more homeless and crazy people there were. I did however get more guys to whistle the closer that I got to work (yeah, I wasn't exactly flattered since most of them were covered in dirt or were holding a cup asking for change). When I finally reached my destination I smelled like bacon, was sweating, my feet hurt, and my iced coffee hadn't helped one bit. I also now have to take my shoes to the repair shop since I wore off the bottom heels. Who ever thought that walking to work in this city would be enjoyable?

Some Of My Favorite Things

I was thinking about some of my favorite things today as I was standing outside taking a quick break from work to enjoy the sunshine. Not just favorite things like shoes, handbags, and clothes...that is a given, but favorite things like sounds, smells, and tastes (I know I know, random).

My favorite sound has always been athletic cleats on pavement. I know that it seems quite weird, but it is honestly such a cool sound! The sound of a dozen or more cleated shoes walking across a parking lot always means that there are a bunch of really cute guys in uniform nearby.

My favorite smell is a really good cologne on a guy. It can be just about any fragrance as long as it isn't put on too heavy. The smell of a really good cologne on a guy can be intoxicating and amazing. If you can't tell by now, a lot of my favorite things involve guys.

As for my favorite taste, I am sure that you can see where this is going... Yep, my favorite taste is Cookie Dough Ice Cream! Honestly, any ice cream is pretty good, but cookie dough is definitely on top.

As for other favorites - Shoes, Handbags, and Clothes (not necessarily in that order). Guys also fall into that list somewhere too - but definitely not before the shoes :)

Daylight Savings

I had a wonderful weekend in the city with my parents. They came to visit and we had a bunch of great dinners and lunches, went to a museum and even watched the commissioning of the USS New York. Even though it was a memorable weekend, I do have a few complaints. My first complaint about the whole weekend was that it got dark wayyy too early. At 5:00 tonight, it was pitch black outside. It's 8:00 now and I feel like I should have been in bed hours ago.

I understand that Daylight Savings is to have daylight during the earlier hours for farmers and other people who have to get up at the crack of dawn. However, I am sleeping at that point in time. I personally would rather wake up in the dark and have at least one extra hour of daylight at the end of the day than at the beginning. Why do they call it Daylight Savings? Honestly, who are they saving the daylight for?? Vampires? (Everyone seems to have an obsession with them as of late so who knows). I feel like by the time midnight rolls around it is going to be light outside again.

Besides having limited amounts of daylight today, it was also up to 70 degrees outside. I am not complaining about the climate confusion today because I do like the warmth, however, I don't like it to be over 65 and sunny when I am wearing a heavy sweater. What is all of this going on? As I was shopping and walking around the city I am seeing girls running around in shorts and t-shirts while there are winter coats sitting abandoned on the store racks.

That is another thing I have to talk about - those girls in shorts. I understand that it was quite warm today, but that doesn't make it okay to show your booty in barely there short shorts. Even if it were 90 degrees out, it still wouldn't be acceptable unless you lived in Miami. Please note that this is New York. Also, for those ladies who decided to re-wear their Halloween tights and leotards, that isn't okay either. Fishnet and bright red cobweb printed tights are also not acceptable after the holiday, especially when worn with the afore mentioned booty shorts. Just a few words of advice...feel free to take it or leave it (along with the daylight).

Technological Wonders

Why is it that cable guys are always late? He arrived over 2 hours after he was supposed to. It is now 5:30 and he is just starting to hook up the cable and Internet now. How am I posting without Internet access you might ask? I'm blogging from my phone! I love my iPhone and this new blogger application! Now I can bitch about the cable guy right in front of him and he doesn't even know it! Ahhh the wonders of technology...

High Heel-Orama

Tonight I am blogging on the spot!! I finally figured out how to post from my new Iphone. I am super excited about this but on to the post...

A few friends and I went to the Ace Hotel on 29th and Broadway tonight to celebrate a friend's birthday. I originally wasn't even going to go out because I was wearing flat boots. I was coming straight from work and didn't have time to run home and change. I am really glad that I went despite my shoes because it was a beautiful place and a really fun time.

Honestly, the place was packed with gorgeous people and I was starting to feel a bit self conscious because I didn't have high shoes on. All I needed was an inch, at least! I feel like high heels make me feel sexier and more confident.

We also discussed how taller women generally get more attention. I'm not sure if that is because they are higher and can see eye to eye with other men or if they look more like models. It seems to be the same with blondes. The light must just reflect off of their hair brighter to catch the attention of men, or else they just resemble the playboy bunnies on tv!

No matter what and even though I might have felt a bit uncomfortable, I still enjoy being 5'2" with brown hair. I'm like a little secret weapon...you might not notice me at first but I will take you by surprise! However, I will usually be wearing high heels!!

Judging A Man By His Bathroom

Last weekend, my friends and I were discussing the different things that we use to judge if a guy is a good guy or not. We listed general politeness such as "Please" and "Thank you" and opening car doors and being nice to old ladies - including their mothers. We also listed being driven, hardworking, and fun. One thing that I hadn't thought of before that was mentioned was "having a clean bathroom." My friend mentioned that if they ever got to that stage with a guy that they got to their apartment or home, they made an immediate be-line for the bathroom. When finally in the bathroom the inspection would occur. Is the sink clean, the toilet sparkling, and the mirrors shiny? If not, the guy would be written off as someone that wasn't suitable.

You might think at first that this judgement sounds harsh or irrational. However, when you really think about it, do you want to go any further with a guy that has a dirty toilet? I think not. Also, you already know that he hasn't learned how to clean up for himself so do you want to be the one to teach him? I think not. You might reconsider a little if he profusely apologizes for the lapse of cleaning of the bathroom or his apartment due to his roommate, his late hours at work, his trip to Mexico that he just got back from a day ago. However, if there are no apologies made you might as well consider him not worth your time. Don't deal with a guy that you will have to train to clean up after himself. You will have to train him to do other things along the way - scrubbing the tub isn't one of them!

The Lulu Smack Down

Today, after my friend asked how I really felt about Meat Head, I really thought hard about it. Unfortunately, I still couldn't really decide how I felt so I decided to list a few things that happened on my date last night that I did know about him. After reading my points, she decided that I was performing what she called as "The Lulu Smack Down" where I tear apart a boy so that I try not to like him. Here are my notes from my date last night...

1) I saw that he had flowers in his apartment. I felt insanely jealous at that moment when I assumed that some chick had sent them to him when he was sick. After I made a complete ass out of him for having pink flowers (Yes, I'm a jackass) he explained to me that his mother got them for him because he was sick. She also got him bright pink flowers because he needed some color in his life since his kitchen is pure white. Yep - I'm a jerk.

2) He told me that he didn't end up taking some test that he was supposed to take for work. Instantly he sounded unmotivated and I am definitely not into that. Motivation is the key for me!

3) Meat Head was really sad and boring after the Yankee's lost the game last night to the Phillies. He told me that he gets upset when his teams don't win. I don't think I can really handle a guy who gets upset over baseball or football. Is that every guy or am I doomed for life?! I knew that men and women were different but damn!

Do these things really bother me about him or am I just picking him apart because I am trying not to like him? Let's hope "The Lulu Smack Down" doesn't really smack down guys and that it just sifts through the good and bad guys.

Teenagers These Days

This evening I was on the subway coming home from work. When I got onto the train car, there was a pack of teenagers yelling and screaming and being obnoxious. After I couldn't sufficiently tune them out to my liking, I listened to their conversation. They were playing their Ipods so everyone could hear, screeching at one another, yelling, and pulling each others hair. Honestly, since when have teenagers been so annoying?

Then I thought, Wait... does this mean that I am officially old? I don't "get" or "fit in" with the young crowd anymore. Everyone else on the train seemed to be annoyed with them too, but they were also all over the age of 30. What do I do? I can't remotely try to fit in with these kids, they are so loud and don't make any sense. Honestly, I rationalized to myself that I am not old because I still enjoyed the song that they were blasting - even though it shouldn't have been heard by the rest of the train passengers. If I still like the song, I still "got it"!

Doctor's Waiting Rooms

The other day I went to the Doctor. I was sitting in the waiting room filling out the massive amounts of annoying paperwork watching the people come in and out of the office when I came across the funniest question. It was on the 5th page of a different document that asked almost all of the same questions as the others. Age? Birthday? Sex? Sign?..Sign?! What? Was I filling out information for an online dating website or a doctor?

When I re-looked at the paper that I was filling out, I noticed that it was to be submitted to insurance. Do insurance companies really look to find out our signs? Do Virgos get sick more often than Gemini? Are Cancers more prone to disease than Scorpios? What is that all about? Why do they also test our patience by making us sit there and fill out these forms. I know that it is called a "waiting room" but I made an appointment for a reason!

After answering what felt to be about 500 questions just asked repeatedly in all different ways, I looked around for a magazine. I saw the sad selection laying on a coffee table and I walked over to check them out. They were from March of 2009 or earlier and nothing was appealing. I instantly dropped the 3 month old Travel and Leisure that I was holding when the thought of germs ran through my head. Not only was the magazine old, but it had been held by numerous people that were visiting the doctor for any number of reasons. I instantly vowed to never touch a magazine that was in a doctor's office again.

A long time ago, I had seen a dentist's office that had good magazines but they were covered by a plastic binding. I remember thinking that it was strange at the time, and now that I am thinking of it again it seems even weirder. Yes, you can wipe off the plastic cover, but what about the 200 pages inside that aren't covered? The plastic cover also shows more fingerprints and makes you not want to read the magazine in the first place. From now on, I will be bringing my own magazines to doctor's offices with me. At least I know that I won't get any sicker by handling my own germs while they make me wait the unnecessary 15 minutes after my paperwork is complete.