Gymboree

Today I did something that I haven't done in months. I went to the gym! I know, I know...It's not healthy to not go to the gym at least once a week. I know that it makes you happier, etc. Personally I hate the gym. I have no idea what inspired me to go today of all days after a long day of work and running around, especially because I hate the gym. For whatever reason, today, I decided to work out.

Warning to all of you non-gym goers out there who are like me - The gym is a dangerous place!

First of all, you have to put your hair up and it never looks good after you run. You have to take your makeup off before you go (because I find that I feel less productive if I'm trying not to make my eyeliner run rather than focusing on running on the treadmill). Also, you get sweaty. You might be wondering what makes all of that so dangerous. It isn't the lack of makeup, bad hair, smelly thing. It is the lack of makeup, bad hair, and smelly thing when a cute guy walks into the gym.

This cute guy always walks in at the end of your workout, or in the middle, when you are looking the roughest. He sees that your face is red, you are trying to suck in as much air as humanly possible, and he knows that you haven't been to the gym in awhile because you have only been running for two minutes and 35 seconds (which feels like it has been an hour of pure torture).

This cute guy walking into the gym doesn't only damage your ego, he can also damage your rotator cuff, your knee, and your pride. When you see this cute guy, try really hard to resist the urge to turn around and look at him and smile. As you do this seemingly flirty move, you also lose your balance, slightly get out of step with the stepper machine and if you don't completely fall off of it, you sprain your ankle and strain your wrist trying to hang on.

So the next time someone says that it is a "good idea" and "super healthy" and "great for your butt" to go to the gym on a regular basis, think again. Your ego and your potentially broken legs will thank you later.