Texting The Truth

Today I got a text message from a boy that I have been avoiding for over a year Lets call him Annoying Texter. He has texted me at least once a week since we hung out in October of 2008... yes, that long ago. I never wanted to be rude, so I never said "It just isn't going to work" or "I'm just not interested." Today he texted me and asked to hang out. I wimped out again and said that I already had plans. I have zero plans for today. Then Annoying Texter said " If you don't want to hang out, you can just say so." He gave me the green light and I said so. I texted back nicely "Yes, I'm sorry. I just don't think it is going to work out." He responded being a bit touchy saying that he didn't realize that he had rubbed me the wrong way and that he didn't know why I wouldn't just hang out with him. Again, I politely said "I apologize but it isn't going to work." I mean, he asked me to tell him and I did. Honestly I am glad that he asked because I was sick of being Miss Nice Girl and either ignoring his texts completely or nicely turning him down. I would have thought that over a year of not seeing him it would make him realize that I didn't want to see him. Hopefully he understands now that he shouldn't text me anymore.

Five minutes after Annoying Texter's last text message, which I ignored, I got another. Annoyed wondering what he could possibly say now, I looked at my phone. Instead of being Annoying Texter whom I hadn't seen in over a year, it was the boy that I was hoping would text me all along - Two days later.

I wonder now if it is karma at work with my text messaging. Maybe you should just always tell people what you are thinking. Looking back, I think I gave Annoying Texter reason to think that I might eventually want to hang out by saying that I was always too busy. Maybe he thought that I would actually one day not be so busy and want to hang out with him. It sure would have saved me a lot of trouble in the end. I will be sure to tell the new boy that I do want to hang out with him soon. I just might wait until tomorrow to message him back though.

Insanity Through Text Messages

Despite being very busy at work with plenty to keep me busy and occupied, I thought about the text message that I resolved to write today. I decided that I had to do it today because I would drive myself insane if I didn't. Here were the ideas that I was thinking about for a quick little message to the boy that I have been obsessing over just because he hasn't called me:

"Hi, How was your trip?" - Simple, yet asks a question which I hope he answers

"Hi. How was your trip? I was thinking about going to see Avatar. If you haven't seen it would you want to see it with me?" - What if he did see it? He could say No. This is too long of a text message.

"Hi. How was your trip? I was thinking about going to see Avatar. Want to see it with me?" - This removes the part about if he has already seen the movie. If he has already seen it, well, he should see it again.

"I was thinking about going to see Avatar. Want to see it with me?" - Is it stupid to ask him to a movie? Shouldn't he be doing this?

"Hi" - Too simple and too dumb.

"You are insane. Stop being crazy." - The text message that I should have written to myself.

After all was said and done and thought over for hours, I sent a simple message that was not on the above list. I sent it after I got out of work. I obviously didn't want him to think that I had been thinking about him when I was busy at work. I wrote:

"Hey! It's been awhile. Hope your holidays were great." - I stole this suggestion from my friend. If you think it is dumb, take it up with her. I personally liked it.

Almost 2 painful hours later he wrote back: "Hey what's up? My holidays were good, but since I have been back work has taken over my life." - Was this him making excuses as to why he hasn't called me? Was this him saying that he could be too busy to see me?

I followed up with a nonchalant "Yeah I hear that. We should hang out sometime soon when you are free." - Again a suggestion from a friend.

Then - nothing. No return text, no follow up, no nothing. Is that his way of saying No, I will never be free? Since when have I cared about this crap? All of this just because a boy didn't call me over the holidays! If he would have just been like every other boy and bothered me until he annoyed me I wouldn't be having this problem. And the waiting begins again...

Literary Genius In A Text

Tonight I went to a free writing class through Gotham Workshops. At first, I was a little disappointed when the teacher turned out looking more like Bill Nye The Science Guy than the dreamy handsome writer that I was imagining. In the end, I was thankful that he wasn't as cute as I had hoped. I learned a lot more and listened more closely rather than worrying about if I was looking funny while I was supposed to be thinking about writing. Yes, I do think like this.

With all of my knew knowledge about writing and how to engage the reader, I will be applying it to my first masterpiece - a text message to a boy whom I am obsessing over. I am not one to admit that I am obsessing over someone, however, he hasn't called me since before the holidays. This might be the main reason that I am thinking about him constantly. I have turned into that girl. You know, THAT girl. Wondering if the text message or voicemail that she just received is from him, wondering when he will call, if he will call. He hasn't called or texted and he is all I can think about. So therefore I will be using all of my newly found writing and literary skills to compose a casual, yet precise text message to him. Wish me luck because I think I have gone insane.

Textorama

Text messages can actually be quite tricky. They have actually caused a lot of trouble and worry that we wouldn't have ever had before the invention of this tiny little message.

I personally am a bad texter. It used to take me forever to write a short message because the phone I was using was as old as a dinosaur. Now that I have my new iPhone, I am a fast texter but I'm still pretty bad at it. I'm an awful texter because I don't really ever know what to write back to people. I try to be funny but I sound sarcastic and mean. I try to sound consoling and instead I just write a :( face. I try to flirt and be cute and it comes out dumb. Someone needs to offer a class - Showing the Right Textmotion 101.

My friend is having a text message issue as well. She hasn't heard from this guy that she has been interested in for quite some time now. Yesterday, after a long hiatus, he text messaged her and said "Hey you". How is that for literary genius? Since she decided that she deserved more than a silly 2 word message she didn't write him back. Instead she held out for a phone call that hasn't come yet.

The politics of texting between people can get so heated. My friend is now in the game of who will contact who. How will this guy ever know that she would have preferred an actual phone call. We might say "How hard is it to pick up the phone and call?" but for some, it takes more effort to send a text. When I send an important text, I think about it for awhile, write it, delete it, write it, edit it, give up and send it. Then it usually doesn't say what I want it to say anyway so I have to follow up with another text. Honestly, sometimes more thought goes into a text. You can't deny what is written down and saved in another person's phone but you can say that someone misheard you if you happen to not say what you meant to say.

So who is right here? Is it bad manners to just text message if it has been awhile since speaking? Is it better to just not say anything at all? Would a phone call really have helped in this situation? Are there classes for etiquette with phone use - Textiquette perhaps?

Blind Date Awkwardness

On Friday night I had a blind date. One of my good friends here in the city met this guy out at a bar and found out that he lived down the street from me. She gave him my number and he ended up calling me a few days ago.

I met Stock Exchange Boy at a bar close to the South Street Seaport called Nelson Blue (http://www.nelsonblue.com/). This is a really cute New Zealand bar that has a familiar local crowd and great food. Stock Exchange Boy was really nice and funny. I met him and his friends after they had been celebrating another friend's promotion. Their boss was there with them and the entire group seemed to be having a lot of fun and they were all joking around with me.

The confusion started when the girl behind the bar would not take my drink order. It became obvious that she was avoiding our side of the bar. I was beginning to think that it was because I had joined the mix until she said to Stock Exchange Boy "Your friend left me an awful tip!" He was confused at this comment until he asked his boss what kind of tip he left. The boss, obviously surprised that the bartender had called him out, started making excuses about how his burger wasn't cooked right. The guys continued to question him and things quickly became more uncomfortable, especially for me. My phone rang, thankfully saved by the bell, I took the call outside.

I was contemplating leaving the bar at that moment but decided to go back inside to finish my drink. When I got back into the bar Stock Exchange Boy and all of his friends were handing the grinning waitress a $20 bill each. She had obviously made out on that deal in the end but I eventually found out that their boss had only left $93 on an $89 bill.

How rude of a boss is that! Thankfully the boss has some good workers that aren't cheap asses. I can only speculate that this is a part of the reason that our country is in the situation it is. The boss keeps all of his money for himself while he makes his workers do everything for him, at their expense and at the expense of other parties (the girl that is on the blind date and has to suffer by being uncomfortable and biting her tongue).

My Worst Nightmare

The reappearing act didn't end on Thursday with Bar Boy calling.  On Friday night after a great time at The Dove with my gay boyfriend I decided to call it an early night (early for me that is, 1 am).  I had finally gotten home and curled up in my bed and fell asleep for about all of 5 minutes when my phone rang.  In my slightly drunken sleep haze I answered it groggily without looking to see who the caller was.  Unfortunately for me, it was my worst nightmare... an ex boyfriend.

The phone call got even worse than a nightmare when I heard a second voice on the other end of the line.  Could it be? Yes, it was 2 ex boyfriends at once!  I had to be dreaming.

I was not dreaming.  The conversation was pretty short since I was horrified and made it a point to get off the phone.  Ex #2 just wanted to say hi because they had been chatting about me and figured that he would call.  Ex #1 is apparently still very bitter and was saying rude things about me in the background.  It was 4 years ago, let it go.

The 2 exes had been friends growing up.  I met Ex #1 at college.  We were together for a little over a year and then he cheated on me.  He shouldn't be bitter about the breakup; he caused it!  Ex #2 I had obviously met when I was dating Ex #1 but didn't really know him that well until we started chatting on the computer.  He lived in another state and I really liked talking to him so we decided to date.  At this point, the 2 exes were not friends.

After I broke up with Ex #2 they became friends again.  How lucky for me.  I feel so honored that they can bond over having dated me.  This sounds like it could be a movie.  A horror film perhaps.

Here is a tip....ALWAYS make sure to check who is calling before you answer!  It is dangerous if you do not.

Reappearing Act

This week shall be known as "The Week of the Magicians."  I call it the magician week because boys who had previously disappeared from my life, have magically reappeared.  Three different guys who I had stopped talking to or who had stopped talking to me called or texted me all in this one week.  

On Tuesday, I received a drunk text from a guy that I went on one date with.  Lets call him Jersey.  This guy is originally from New Jersey, loves New Jersey, was forced to move into the city for his job, and tries to find any way he can to move back to....yep you guessed it...New Jersey.  He said that he wanted to be in a serious relationship and that just wasn't what I wanted with him after our first date.  I moved on.

Wednesday was quite frustrating.  The text, if you can call it that, was from a guy who I was seeing for a couple of months.  He took me out to fabulous dinners and we had amazing chemistry and conversation.  I wasn't sure if I really liked him until he stopped calling me.  Then, I liked him even more (this happens all too often).  He texted after about 4 months of not hearing from him at all.  His text was   :)   This is so ironic especially because of yesterday's post.  I am a little bit angry about this text because there were no words in it, just that stupid smiley face.  When I talked about smiling yesterday, I meant IN PERSON!

Today's caller was a guy who my mother insists on calling "Bar Boy" because I met him at a bar.  That should have been my first clue.  We went on about 3 or 4 dates which were fun but he was a "we" guy.  He said that we have to try this, and we have to go here, and we we we we....Obviously this word scares the crap out of me.  I kindly and gently told him that although I had so much fun on our dates I just was not looking for something serious at the moment.  My mother said "You crushed him like a grape!"  Well mother, that grape isn't squished yet.  He called and wants to go on a date.  I agreed of course. 

A girl has to eat somehow...

I think that the weather is to blame for this odd reappearing act by these 3 silly magicians.  In the beginning of the week here in New York, it rained for 3 solid days.  Tuesday's Jersey boy caved the second day of the rain.  He got bored and wanted someone to cuddle with.  Wednesday's boy is still up in the air about what he was thinking.  A great friend of mine said that there is only so much that you can get from and read into about a :) text.  Thursday's Bar Boy is all about the nice weather.  Even though it was a little windy today, it is getting warmer.  The prospects to sit outside and dine on a warm evening are great, as long as you have someone to sit there with. 

Ahhhh Spring!