Moving Moments

I moved into my new apartment in the West Village this Memorial Day weekend. Instead of laying on the beach with a Pina Colada, I was forced to pack and unpack boxes, carry unusually heavy items, and sweat...all of which I hate.

In order to get an apartment set up correctly, you will need the following:

- Lots and lots and lots of tape
- Patience
- Money for a parking ticket - Did you know that in NYC if the movers park the truck in the wrong spot and get a traffic ticket that you are responsible for it, even though you had nothing to do with the truck?
- Longevity - Working until 3 am and getting up at 8 am is never fun unless you aren't working
- Shoes - Never go barefoot in a new apartment. There will inevitably be glass on the floor and a bloody foot to follow
- Cleaning supplies - For when you realize the tenants before you were disgusting pigs for the last year
- Toolbags - This is literally tools in a bag. Make sure to put them in the bag after using them. Even though you try to stick to this rule, you still will not be able to find one of the following - tape, scissors, or a screwdriver.
- Humor - When your mother says "Screw This" and means to screw a shelf together you have to laugh
- Wine, Starbucks, and Cookies - 3 major necessities during a move
- Laughter - Things are just funnier at 1 am
- Home Depot - If I have to go back there one more time I am going to freak out...honestly I hate Home Depot
- Power Tools - They are quite helpful. They are even more helpful when you know how to use them
- Vision - If you don't have it, you have to move the furniture 20 times to figure out where to put it
- Fun - Even though starting to put a cabinet from Target together at midnight doesn't seem like fun, it is actually quite enjoyable - if you like puzzles with a million little pieces.

Thankfully I made it through the move and I am not taped to the walls or stuck in a box. I might however be getting a little high from the paint fumes in my apartment so I apologize if this post made zero sense.

Waiting Waiting Waiting

I am sitting across from my new apartment building waiting for my new couch to be delivered. I have been waiting patiently for over an hour now. One thing that waiting in New York let's you do is people watch. I love people watching. Something that you learn while waiting and people watching...people in New York are absolutely insane. From their outfits to their mannerisms to their hair and the way they dress their dogs (yes, quite a few of them dress their dogs) they are crazy. That is another reason why I love this city. There is never a dull moment even while doing nothing but waiting over an hour for a couch.

Internet Names

This past week and a half I have been without the Internet in my apartment. I am currently posting from my iPhone, however there are just some things that are better seen on a large screen. Since it is annoying to have to go to the common area to check my email or go to Starbucks and get hopped up on caffeine before bed to google throw pillows, I try to log onto one of my neighbors open Internet accounts. Hey - it is their fault for not making them password protected!

One of my favorites to log onto is Hotter Big Booty Hoes because, well, honestly it is a fantastically hilarious name. I always just wonder which of the hoes they are that I see in the elevator. Since all of the regular apartment numbered Internets are password locked I like to pick the weirdest names possible. Another of my favorites is House Of Fearts. Honestly...who comes up with this shit? EnGenious isn't too smart since he doesn't know how to lock his Internet up. Thank you again to my neighbors for letting me use their google!

My Packing Apologies

This past week I have been packing up my old apartment in order to move this coming weekend. First of all, I cannot believe that I have so much stuff. I know, I know, I have lots of shoes and clothes, but other stuff - honestly I had no idea how much I have. Conversely, I never knew how much I needed for a new apartment. All of the kitchen and cooking things that I lack are comical. How have I managed to make it this far without these things, I have no idea.

Last night, since I had stupidly packed all of my plates and only had plastic ones available, I had no idea what to do to make a little personal pizza that I usually nuke in the microwave. Thankfully, I was on the phone with my gay boyfriend and he suggested using the oven and the top of the broiler pan that comes with it. Of course - the oven! At first I didn't think I was using it properly since it smelled like something was burning when i turned it on, but he assured me that it might have been something on the bottom of the stove that had dripped from a previous use. 10 minutes later, I had pizza. Before I ate the pizza, I cut it into little slices. Unfortunately, it wouldn't cut very well. No, not because it was burnt (it wasn't) but it wouldn't cut because I had forgotten to take the paper off of the bottom of the pizza that separates it from the other pieces in the package. And this is why I use the microwave.

There has been one box that I have packed, taped up, and opened again over 3 times. Apparently you shouldn't pack your travel wine bottle opener before you are ready. You also shouldn't re-close the box before you realize that you do not have the muscles to open the bottle of wine with the travel wine bottle opener and you need to get your other wine bottle opener out.

I do have to apologize to a few people for my packing:
- The doormen at my current building for putting up with my frequent requests for "More Boxes Please."
- My neighbors at my current building for hearing my music blasting and if it isn't my music, its the lovely rhythm of the packing tape screeching across the boxes.
- My friends whom I haven't seen since I have started packing - They might be thinking that I have placed myself into one of the boxes and sealed it from the inside.
- My mother whom I continue to call and ask multiple random questions to about things that I need, what she is bringing, etc. Also because I used all of my extra towels to pack with after I ran out of newspaper and bubble wrap. She doesn't have a guest towel for when she gets here unless she wants to open a few boxes.
- The new tenants that are moving in shortly - I puttied the holes in the walls last night after I had 2 glasses of wine. Sorry, they didn't magically disappear like the Spackle container said they would.
- My movers that I haven't met yet. I am sorry for the lack of consistency in my boxes. Some are really light filled with pillows and bedding and the others are packed with books. I have a lot of books and I am sorry for the inconvenience this will cause. Thankfully I am paying you a large sum of money to deal with all of those boxes so I hope that you don't complain.

If no one hears from me for a few days, you might want to come check in on me in my apartment. I might have taped myself to the wall.

Gala Outfit Decision

I finally decided on an outfit for the gala, not without a little bit of panic and some help from my friends. You know when you only have a little bit of time to figure it out and whatever you seem to pt on just doesn't look right? Well, that's how I was on Tuesday night. I had gotten home from work a lot later than I had expected and then was busy packing for my move. I forgot that I hadn't officially picked an outfit yet. Thankfully my friends and my iPhone helped me to make a decision.

Honestly, I will say it again, I don't know what I ever did without this phone. My friends were sending pictures of dresses that they had available for me to choose from and I was sending them pictures of outfits. In the end, they picked the outfit that I had tried on first. It was nice to have a few opinions.

At the Gina Gibney Dance Foundation Gala I felt like I had made the right decision on my outfit until 2 women came up to me and announced that I was the best dressed in the room. I had made the perfect decision. When I told them that my entire outfit was from H&M they shushed me and told me not to tell anyone. These women were quite hilarious as every time they passed by me they would point and nod their heads in approval.

Here is the outfit below... If you want, the entire thing is available at H&M, even though I'm not supposed to tell you that.

Gala Outfit Options

Tomorrow night I will be attending a Gala. At first, when I heard the word Gala, I assumed that I would have to wear a floor length dress that would be quite fancy. I thought that until we got an email that mentioned that cocktail attire would be the appropriate form of dress for the evening. Whew. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to find a long dress (and get it hemmed of course...I am only 5'2").

A few days after I received the email about the cocktail attire, I received another email. This email gave the details of where to meet and what the schedule of events was along with a comment about the dress code. This time, it said "Cocktail Festive." What on Earth is Cocktail Festive?? It isn't like it is a holiday party where festive might mean red and green or silvery something or others. This is a Gala for a charity that helps out battered and abused women. I don't see any part of "festive" in that.

When I thought I had finally decided on something to wear, I got yet again another email. This was the most confusing of all of the emails that I had received so far. This one said that the attire was "festive dress, party clothes, or office attire." What the hell was I going to wear now? This whole thing started off by me worrying that I wouldn't ever find the right long gown and wouldn't be fancy enough and has now gone to me wondering if everyone is going to show up to this thing in a white collared shirt and pants. Honestly, just cocktail attire would have been enough of a description for me and the 3 emails were more than sufficient - they were confusing!

It took awhile, but I have figured out what I am going to wear. It combines cocktail festive, party clothes, and is gala appropriate. Sorry, no office wear for this girl. I will be sure to post a picture tomorrow....if I remember to take one this time. We all know how the sunset one went.

Saturday Sunset Soiree - Sunday Sunrise Surprise

Last night, my friends and I went to an apartment party in Murray Hill. Normally, when you hear the words "party in Murray Hill" you think of something that might be similar to a fraternity party, minus the keg stand (Hell, in some cases there might be a few of those also). Thankfully, last nights party did involve red plastic solo cups but lacked the beer spilling on my shoes, at least early on anyway. The party was held on a friend's balcony overlooking the city and started early enough to see the sunset. It was only after one drink that my friends and I decided that it would be a "good idea" to stay up all night and see the sunrise. We still cannot figure out exactly who's idea it was to start with but I quickly became the Sunrise Enforcer making sure that we were going to make it to 6 am. Here is how the night went on...

- I am assuming that the decision to make it to sunrise happened around 10pm. This is a guess.

- at 10:05 a tequila shot was taken to secure the pact that, yes, we would in fact remain awake and having a fun time until the first sights of the sun.

- Left the apartment party to go to a going-away party for another friend at The Bravest.

- Left The Bravest after only 1/2 an hour since no dancing was allowed in that bar. Just keep that in mind for next time when you want to dance and can't, its really annoying.

- Tried to go to a few other bars but SOMEONE (my Gay Boyfriend ahem ahem) forgot his ID. In New York you have to make sure to have your ID with you to get into anything. You could be as old as Betty White and they still decide to card you for the "fun" of it.

- Finally ended up at a bar called Von on Bleeker street that was supposedly good for dancing. Too bad the music was a direct copy of the type that you hear on some elevators and the Verizon I've been on hold for an hour play list.

- Attempted to go to Apotheke. I say attempted because we waited in a line and never got in. Here is my issue with this...the bar is supposed to be a secret bar. If you stack a line outside it gives up the secret. Also, another lesson I learned again and will hopefully follow one day, don't try to go anywhere on Saturday night that has just been labeled cool by a Real Housewife of New York. The line for the bar you once loved during the week will be very annoying on the weekends. No thanks to you Luanne The Countess

- Mac and Cheese and arm dancing at Cafeteria puts us at around 5:00 give or take a few minutes.

- The sunset was kind of witnessed. I waited until 7:30 am to see if I could get a glimpse of it through the buildings. Unfortunately I never got to see the actual sun but I did see the illumination of the sky. One can only assume that the sun did that...It was gorgeous and I didn't take a picture (the one I posted is courtesy of Google Images).

What an amazing 24 hours in NYC :)

Grocery Discounts

Tonight I went to the grocery store since my refrigerator was jut about bare with the exception of the last pickle in the jar in the way back. I don't plan on eating that pickle anytime soon since I don't know how long it's been back there for.

Anyway, at the grocery store there was a sign posted at the checkout counter that read "All NYU Students - 20% off on Thursday Nights with your Student ID". Then, in fine print it said "Does not work for Cigarettes and Alcohol". That might be either the worst sign ever or the smartest. On one hand, students will rarely be at the grocery store on a Thursday night and if they do happen to find themselves there, it's for cigarettes and alcohol.

The reason why it might be the smartest sign ever is ... Ohh wait. It could never be the smartest sign ever because it is ABSOLUTELY THE DUMBEST SIGN EVER. Honestly, do they really think that is such a great deal? They probably lost money just printing out the stupid sign.

Compliment?

Last night, after work, I got my hair dyed. I went for a few blonde highlights - not super Barbie blonde but definitely a change. All day at work, I was getting compliments on my hair. "It's so cute" and "Your hair looks so pretty" were the usual. However, I also heard a few "The color is so fitting" and "It's so you."

Should I be offended? Is it so me because people think I am stupid or air headed (no offense to all of you blondes out there...)?

I hope that the new hair color doesn't bring on absentmindedness and loss of memory. I only wanted it to bring the boys...as the saying goes - "New Hair, New Boys!"

Of course I cannot end this Blog without a Blonde Joke. Enjoy!



One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.

And why did I want new hair again?

Groovin' To The Porn Songs

I was downloading songs tonight, something that I haven't done in quite a few months. I was looking on LimeWire and noticed that you can do an advanced search for Genre. While I scrolled through the listings, looking for Top 40, I came upon a very peculiar genre of music. Porn Groove. Who knew? It was right there in between Pop Folk and Power Ballads.

As I downloaded my top 40 songs, I wondered, who actually downloads Porn Groove? Porn Stars? Porn Photographers? Porn Directors? Or do regular people really download this stuff?

Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow....

Terry Cloth Terror

I am about 90% on my way to getting my apartment. The last hurdle is signing the lease and handing over the checks. You would think that the money thing would be the hardest part - but if you think that, you would be wrong. The hardest thing for me about the apartment process in NYC has been finding towels.

I know I know, it makes me sound ridiculous (and believe me, I feel ridiculous). I wanted to find fun towels that were inexpensive, colorful, and soft. Not a lot to ask for right? Wrong. I could find the soft and cheap, but they weren't a bright color. I found the colorful and cheap, but they weren't soft. Sounds a little like I am becoming the Goldilocks of home furnishings...

I finally found some soft, inexpensive towels that were bright enough for me on Sunday afternoon. Now its onto the curtains.

Surfing On A Bus

I am currently on a bus on the way back to NYC after spending a lovely weekend at home with my family for Mother's Day. The beginning of the bus ride was great, fast, and few bumps. Now, we have been stuck in a huge traffic jam just before the tunnel. Since we were sitting for about 10 minutes without moving and my bladder was filled with the Sprite I had earlier, I decided to attempt the scary bus bathroom (It was obviously done out of desparation since I can barely use public restrooms much less one on wheels).

Wouldn't you know that the very second I stepped into the smelly little room with the blue water hole in it, the bus started moving...and moving fast. Speeding in from Weehawken while in the bus bathroom was not what I had hoped for. Thankfully I didn't fall or have to touch the seat at all (it felt kind of like surfing with scarier blue water to potentially fall into).

I am safely in my seat again and now we are not speeding anymore but inching every few minutes towarda the tunnel. Lovely timing on my part - not.

Cinco De Not Fun

Tonight, instead of partying with a frozen margarita in hand singing about la cucarachas, I will be filling out paperwork for an apartment and then packing - 2 very un-fun things to do on Cinco De Mayo.

The paperwork is a lot of work since they want me to tell them everything, absolutely everything, that I have/own/do. They also want me to give them my first born child (which is okay with me since I don't really want a child anyway - they can have that).

We all know that packing isn't my forte. I am going home for Mother's Day where I might be dead. My mother might literally kill me if I ask her another question about an apartment form.

Cheers to all of you having a Cinco De Fun day! Drink one for me!

Shopping And Partying Under One Roof

This Friday is it...the official opening of a new shopping destination in Manhattan. This new marketplace used to be home to one of the best clubs in the city, Limelight. The Cut reports that after months of waiting and extending the opening date, it is finally here. What more could a girl ask for with a place where she used to dance her ass off that has now been turned into a place where she can shop her ass off.

Check out the Shopping Guide to make sure you can pinpoint the perfect area to find your brand new jewelry. Make sure to bring your glow sticks...

Tracking My Shopping

The New York Times posted an article today about consumer habits and how they are currently tracked through technology. These computers watch what we buy at the grocery store, what top we picked up on Saturday, where we ate our lunch, and even when we stopped to sit on a bench and relax in between shopping.

If this type of technology can track if I bought the yellow bra or the pink bra, what else can it track? Personally, I think its a great idea. It should also be able to track when someone decides to buy lots of wires, gun powder, and a few alarm clocks. These same computers should also be able to detect when someone combines all of these purchases into the trunk of an SUV and proceeds to abandon it in Times Square.

Why are we so worried about what types and colors of clothing that I am buying when we can look a little deeper at the combination of potentially dangerous things that people are buying. An invasion of privacy you say? Wouldn't you rather have a computer track what you are buying and where you are going and also know what the person next to you is buying and where they are going, rather than wondering if you are actually walking into a potentially life threatening situation? Yeah, I thought so.

Track on technology!

What A Weekend

The things that I have learned this weekend alone are priceless. These lessons were all learned by looking for an apartment in New York City...

1) Family is the greatest thing a girl can have
2) Good walking shoes are always key
3) If it is meant to be, it will be
4) Shopping helps to cure most worries
5) Smiling goes a long way
6) Wine in the afternoon calms nerves
7) Laughing with friends could cure anything
8) The air conditioning in the subway is something to look forward to
9) Make sure to stick to your guns
10) Make sure that you have good shoes on to walk around the city or even your blisters will make you doubt the tough choices.

Happily Hunting...