David Barton Is A Jerk

Who is David Barton? Well I technically haven't met him at all and I don't know if he is a real person or not. David Barton the gym sucks, however. David Barton the gym is going to make me unable to move tomorrow. Here are a few things that I found out about David Barton the gym today.

- When someone suggests Interval Training since you said you would like a class, they are usually wrong.
- Interval training is the worst thing ever invented.
- I don't know anyone that wants to or is excited to do 3 reps of 10 push ups after 30 minutes of running, high kicks, weights, and a stepper.
- When you ask me how it's going and I have sweat dripping down my blood red face and I'm panting similarly to a dog, I might try to shoot imaginary laser beams into your eyes
- No, I don't like squats. Not even if you turned up the Michael Jackson song to get
"pumped up."
- If I come out of the class looking like I just wrestled a grizzly bear, what do you think my answer to "Would you like to join our gym" be?
- $125 a month to feel like you are about to collapse does not sound like a bargain to me.
- Don't try to entice me with "all of the cute guys." This is Chelsea dumb ass. They are all gay.
- "Well at least it doesn't matter what you look like when you come or if you sweat too much" is not an appropriate follow-up to the afore mentioned bullet.
- David Barton - I. Hate. You.
- And. Your. Gym.